these tee shirts were tested on animals. they didn't fit.

It's time to celebrate. I finished and presented my Spanish project today! It was a pretty legit presentation if I do say so myself, it was about native animals in Chile and they were all weird looking. So now I've been thinking about weird looking animals for a while and I thought I'd write about some.

I consider myself a lover of all animals, fluffy or venomous (although I do enjoy my hamburgers and fried chicken and what have you). The only four-legged creatures I wish to destroy are dogs. How odd, I know. I just can't stand them. It's like having a clingy boyfriend. You have to pet them all the time and give them so much attention and take them on walks seven hundred times a day and feed them their dumb food. Try to convince me that's not exactly like a pathetic, useless significant other. All other animals are wonderful especially the crazy looking ones that make you wonder how messed up their genetics are. Here are a couple of my favs. The weirdest animals are always the most interesting. The same going for people.

Komodo dragons. When I finally get my little cottage, I'm going to get one of these monsters to guard my house. They're like mini dinosaurs and can kill anything with one bite. Chomp... you're dead.

Pink fairy armadillos. Native to Argentina, I don't even know what to say about these guys they are so crazy they speak for themselves. Once I had a dream I was trying to capture a blue armadillo and make it my pet but he just kept rolling up in a ball and rolling away.

Star-nosed mole. It's pretty clear how this little mole got it's name. They find worms, mollusks, and other insecty things with their noses. I wonder what else they do with their noses. They could probably use them as suction cups and climb up walls and stuff.

Flying fox bats. They're just demon foxes with giant bat wings and evil eyes that can claw your face off. Imagine walking into a cave and being swarmed by these guys. I would probably not enjoy it.

Lion's mane jellyfish. These dudes turn completely inside-out when they're bopping around in the ocean. I always want to pet the mane looking part but them I'd most likely die.

Platypi. The only mammal that lays eggs and has clawed flippers and a bill and poisonous spurs. What is wrong with this animal? He got mixed up in the evolution of things. I fell like a bunch of different animals were thrown in a blender and this was the result.

Manatees. They're gentle creatures, endangered and harmless. They look pretty pathetic too, like dolphins with down syndrome. I hope that's not offensive.