Today is another day bland mind day, I don't have much to say again. The only things that's really in my head is school stuff. School's becoming more of a reality lately and I know I've been slacking too much. I wear myself out worrying about schoolwork. It's the only part of my life I'm actually concerned about, I hardly worry in general. I like to just float around and whatever happens, it happens and then life keeps going and I keep floating. I take a similar approach with college except while I'm floating around I constantly think about how terrible I'm doing in classes and how much my parents will lecture me about my GPA and grad school.
Every day I think of how easy it would be to just stop college all together and run away from responsibility and my weird life. I just want to be off in the wilderness living in a little cottage on the edge of a lake or up in a mountain or on a cliff somewhere cold. I've come dangerously close to blowing all my money on a one-way ticket to Reykjavik, Iceland to live with a colony of puffins. There's nothing more tempting than a plane ticket to somewhere unknown.
That's probably part of the reason my dream is to be a pilot. Fly off to anywhere in the world. I don't like sitting still and eventually, I start to hate everything around me. I have pretty awful vision as of now so they'll never let me navigate the skies to deliver people here and there. I must fix my silly eyes first. Then I'll have complete freedom to practically live in the sky and visit new places and be surrounded by strangers. How lovely it would be to spend 80% of your life up in the clouds looking at an endless atmosphere. Well, I'm trying to achieve my silly life goal and finally applied to work at the airport near my home. I went out on a limb and practically poured out my heart in my cover letter about how I would only be happy if I could fly planes for the rest of my life. If that didn't guarantee the job, it definitely lost it. I hope they like me. I'll be so sad if they don't...
That's really all I've got right now. Longing and wistfulness. Yours forever, Rex.
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